As a secondary school teacher, I see the struggle that some students go through every single year at this time of year trying to settle in to their new routine. As a parent, I have felt for the first time that I don’t always know best how to help my child settle in.
My daughter started Reception this September and on the whole, its been so far so good. She seems to be enjoying it and frequently tells me what she’s been getting up to. And yet, I found myself googling the same question countless times in the run up to school: How can I help my child settle into school? Turns out, Google wasn’t all that helpful.
Thankfully, as I say, she has settled in really quite well so far. But I know all too well that not all children (and certainly not all parents) find the transition easy, especially when we get to secondary school. As someone who has worked as a teacher and a form tutor in secondary schools, here are my tops tips to helping your child settle in and find a routine, whilst developing their own independence.
1. Make copies of their timetable.
At primary, your child is in the same room most days, all day. At secondary, I can almost guarantee that they will be in at least 5 different rooms each day, with 5 different teachers, 5 days a week. With more and more class shares, its not even as simple as saying French is with Madame Stylo and PE is with Mr Cricket as quite often there’s going to be more than one teacher taking each group. For this reason, make sure you get copies of the timetable. I’d recommend putting one on the fridge or noticeboard at home, one in their pocket/planner and one on the inside of their locker (if they have one) at the very least to help them organise their day and know where they’re going.
2. Settle in to new routines.
With two small children, I know how valuable a good routine can be. Not always easy to uphold, getting your kids into good habits earlier on will hopefully help you all in the long run. Things like packing their bag the evening before means that there is less need to rush around in the morning, and hopefully less stress for everyone! Similarly, after school you could encourage them to come in and do their homework straight away, or after a quick snack. Often if homework gets left until after dinner it becomes a far bigger chore. Some students find homework club really useful as then once they’ve left school, they don’t have to worry about anything school-shaped at home.
3. Homework
On the subject of homework….
Honestly, it is one of the banes of many teachers’ work-life. We spend so much time chasing up homework that isn’t done, or setting homework to tick a box that it becomes really difficult to strike a balance sometimes. I always used to set and collect homework on the same day each week to try and make it easier for everyone involved. If your school doesn’t send you a homework timetable, don’t be afraid to ask teachers when they will be setting homework so that you can make sure the kids (and you) have some downtime too!
Also, if your child doesn’t understand a piece of homework, encourage them to go and ask the teacher before the due date. A lot of schools now use online homework setting software, so it might be that you understand but sometimes you might not! Most teachers are more than happy to go over it with them, and if you’re not sure, there’s a fair chance that someone else might be confused too. It’s always better to ask!
4. Build a relationship with your child’s tutor.
Unlike at primary school, your child is going to be taught by a huge number of people throughout the school day. Sometimes it is hard knowing who to contact. But in most secondary schools, children are split into tutor groups and they will see their tutor at least once a day. Your child’s tutor is there to make sure that they are settling into secondary school and are doing well on a pastoral basis, not just academically and are an excellent point of contact if you’re not sure of who to speak to on a subject-related matter.
Schools differ but I always found it easiest when parents emailed me rather than called as some days I would be teaching all day, plus have a break duty, and an after-school club. Emails can be picked up at any time of the day and you can always arrange a phone call or face-to-face meeting if you feel this is necessary.
5. Label everything!
You’d think that by the time your child reaches 11, things are less likely to go missing. For some kids, that is definitely true! However some children just seem to lose things on a daily basis. The difference is, at secondary school, if something goes missing, there is a much bigger space for it to become lost in! I’ve even had someone lose their shoes before so anything can get lost! The biggest culprit is locker keys though and often these aren’t easily identifiable! For this reason, I’d highly recommend getting your child to put their locker key on a bigger set of keys, or on a big keyring which can then be labelled with their name! Pencil cases too – if they’re labelled, they can be returned!
6. Take an interest, but try not to worry too much.
Since working with younger children at primary schools and nurseries, I have realised just how little Year 7s still are. They still need a lot of looking after, but in a place where they desperately need to learn to be more independent. The first weeks are all about settling in and lessons will probably reflect this too. If there’s not much conversation going on at home about school, try to ask them directed questions. Rather than “what did you do today?”, look at their timetable, see what lessons they had and ask them something more specific – “how was Science today, did you do any experiments?” You might still get a blank face but persevere and try to find which subjects they’re enjoying, which they think they’re doing well in, and why they don’t like some of the other subjects. One of the biggest differences I’ve found teaching across primary and secondary is that for a lot of students, secondary school might mean some days of 5 hours of Powerpoints and listening and let’s face it, that can be tough for anyone to talk about!
To settle in to secondary school quickly can be really tough for kids, and for parents too. If you’re struggling, or feel your child needs some extra help, don’t be afraid to contact your school. And in the meantime, if you have any advice for someone at the start of their child’s primary journey, feel free to drop it below or send me an email! I’ll be writing about the experience on the blog soon!
Some helpful links on settling into secondary school:
